The rather facetious title refers to one of the most controversial buildings in Colchester - if not the most contoversial. It is the building known previously as the Visual Arts Centre, or VAC, and now as Firstsite, or, locally, "that bloody monstrous waste of money". This is no ordinary building, being unusual in form, to say the least, and containing exhibits ranging from a fine Roman mosaic to works of modern art, a title carefully-chosen, as it's the opinion of many that referring to them as 'modern works of art' might imbue them with an integrity that the average Colcestrian does not consider they merit.
Reviews of this golden splendour vary as much as people's taste, as one would expect, and range from "Wow!" (by which I assume that the reviewer liked it) to someone who gave it one star because at least the toilets were clean - this may not seem remarkable to you if you do not live in Colchester. One gentleman who visited noted that one of the art exhibits was a range of sex-toys, which seems rather questionable if you've taken the kids along. Whilst acknowledging that dildos and butt-plugs may have their place in the bedroom (although I believe there is some confusion over the exact location of the place), it seems strange that they can be described as objets d'art, given their intended use and ultimate destination. Although an adjacent pile of rubble separated by mirrors clearly cannot compete with the dildos, it's still unclear as to its significance.
Apparently, it's a "child-friendly place"; well, of course it is, there's nothing like a few sex-toys around the place to give it that family-friendly atmosphere, is there? Admission is free, and there is a cafe, but you could say the same about Dunwich, most of which fell into the sea in the 14th century. The exterior of the building is golden in colour, and looks rather assymetrical. People have likened it to a listing boat, or - perhaps unkindly - as a big, gold, allotment shed that's falling over. It is certainly not to everyone's taste, and the townspeople are still incredulous at the £25 million it cost. Its Uruguayan architect christened it 'The Golden Banana', although many Colcestrians feel it's more of a 'White Elephant'.
The 'Telegraph' commented that the building didn't want to be part of the town, but rather to talk down to it from a height, and this is in line with the general thinking in Colchester. It is very stongly felt that we are being sneered at, that this is an expensive piece of architectural and artistic snobbery that we are not ready for, couldn't afford, and didn't want. It does not fit in Britain's oldest recorded town, and there were other venues more in keeping with what the planners have left of Colchester, than any bloody Uruguayan-inspired banana, whatever colour it is.
It has struggled since it opened, and a panic-stricken Council, trying to save face, have injected huge amounts of cash into it - sometimes, it is said, at the expense of more worthy causes. We had all said, at the outset, that we didn't want it, and many were the suggestions of what a spare 25 million quid could be spent on. Not one of them mentioned an art gallery, but the words 'hospital', 'doctor', and 'the elderly' popped up quite a lot. Of course, it was argued that all these things were funded from a different pot, and - as this money was in the pot marked 'Let's Be Bloody Silly With Tax-Payer's Money' - why not have an art gallery? That should get rid of the cash a treat. It is, at the moment, still attracting a few visitors, most of whom take approximately 25 minutes to not understand it, and then leave, muttering.
It looks better from my bedroom window in the summer, because it is hidden from view by trees, but I doubt it will be long before the planners get rid of them, too. I am, I'm afraid, a follower of Sir Peter Scott's description of art; "One instinctively knows", he said, "if one has hung one of my paintings upside-down".
Indeed.
Tuesday, 18 October 2016
Saturday, 1 October 2016
A Letter to America
Dear America,
I don't often write letters that contain advice, chiefly because other people's always seems so much better, and seldom do I write letters that plead, because our generation was brought up never to plead for anything, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and rarely have you had such desperate times. We over here don't like to see this.
I have always rather liked your countrymen, and, although I've never visited you, have always been fascinated by you. Us English (sorry, I mean British!), are a rather reserved bunch, not given to displays of emotion, or indeed, displays of anything else. Many in this country believe the Americans to be brash, loud, and impulsive. By our rather narrow standards of aloofness, that may have a grain of truth in it, but I have also found them to be warm, friendly, open, and easy-going, even if they do have an alarming propensity for getting involved in very messy little wars.
You may recall that we had a messy little war ourselves between 1939 and 1945, and despite the taunts of being "over-sexed, overpaid, and over here" most British people remember with gratitude the assistance and sacrifices of ordinary Americans. I am mindful of the fact that about 47,000 of your young men became casualties flying from "this sceptred isle", of which 26,000 lost their lives; that is a very humbling thought. Just in case you thought we'd forgotten - we haven't.
It was, therefore, with great sadness that I read of the difficulties you are encountering with this Presidential Election of yours. It seems - as is so often the case - that the candidates you have ended up with are not really the people your great American public wants or likes. We in Britain can empathise with that, because, believe me, we've had our share. However, I do feel that our John Majors and Gordon Browns - and, yes, even Tony Blairs - pale into insignificance when compared to a man like Donald Trump.
Now, look, America, I don't want to tell you your business, but I can't, in all honesty, sit here and say nothing. I'd never forgive myself; it wouldn't be right. Where the Hell did you get him from? Can you get a refund? Is, he, in fact, a real person, or some kind of CIA joke we're not getting? This is a man who has been described - with much justification, I might add - as "a narcissistic, bragging, mendacious, ignorant, dangerous demagogue". This is a man who loves everyone except blacks, browns, immigrants, Mexicans, Muslims, and women. The Huffington Post didn't hold back either (especially after he'd attacked the lady who runs it!), calling him "an attention-starved, thin-skinned narcissist", and remarking that his campaign was laden with insults, and built on "bombast, bullying, and false bravado". Then HP really got into it's stride, calling him "a mean-spirited, nasty, and divisive, polarizing, loose-cannon" going on to observe that he was also " a tone-deaf, self-serving entitled meglomaniac and pathological liar". It went on to say - unsurprisingly - that Trump was "fundamentally unqualified to be President", and then topped the whole thing off by saying that it felt the people of America would demand more than just "an angry, crass, impulsive, intolerant, intellectually-bankrupt peddler of negativity and doom". as their next President. I don't think they like him very much.
You've had good, even - some would say - great, Presidents in the past; Roosevelt, Eisenhower, JFK, etc., and some who were mediocre, like Johnson, Bush and co., and, admittedly, Nixon, but you can't be expected to get it right every time. However, there really can be no possible excuse for tolerating a bigot like Trump. Mrs Clinton (the person insultingly referred to by Trump as "Crooked Hillary") may not be the ideal choice, but she is at least capable of running you without offending most of your countrymen and the rest of the world. Do not allow DJT to consign the names of Trump and America to the same historical dustbin as Hitler and the Nazis, because I'm with Huffington; I don't think I like him very much, either.
Raise 'Old Glory', America, and raise it against a man who would destroy you politically, domestically, and internationally. A man who would drag the name of America so deep into the muck of racism, separatism, and blind indifference, that it will take you forever to drag yourself out.
America - dear, larger-than-life, colourful, loud, gung-ho, America - please, I beg of you, do not allow this braying racist to make you a figure of fun. We have a vested interest - he is as dangerous to everyone else as he is to you. You are much, much, better than Donald Trump, America, you deserve much, much, more than Donald Trump.
I hope and pray, from the bottom of my heart, that you get it.
I don't often write letters that contain advice, chiefly because other people's always seems so much better, and seldom do I write letters that plead, because our generation was brought up never to plead for anything, but desperate times call for desperate measures, and rarely have you had such desperate times. We over here don't like to see this.
I have always rather liked your countrymen, and, although I've never visited you, have always been fascinated by you. Us English (sorry, I mean British!), are a rather reserved bunch, not given to displays of emotion, or indeed, displays of anything else. Many in this country believe the Americans to be brash, loud, and impulsive. By our rather narrow standards of aloofness, that may have a grain of truth in it, but I have also found them to be warm, friendly, open, and easy-going, even if they do have an alarming propensity for getting involved in very messy little wars.
You may recall that we had a messy little war ourselves between 1939 and 1945, and despite the taunts of being "over-sexed, overpaid, and over here" most British people remember with gratitude the assistance and sacrifices of ordinary Americans. I am mindful of the fact that about 47,000 of your young men became casualties flying from "this sceptred isle", of which 26,000 lost their lives; that is a very humbling thought. Just in case you thought we'd forgotten - we haven't.
It was, therefore, with great sadness that I read of the difficulties you are encountering with this Presidential Election of yours. It seems - as is so often the case - that the candidates you have ended up with are not really the people your great American public wants or likes. We in Britain can empathise with that, because, believe me, we've had our share. However, I do feel that our John Majors and Gordon Browns - and, yes, even Tony Blairs - pale into insignificance when compared to a man like Donald Trump.
Now, look, America, I don't want to tell you your business, but I can't, in all honesty, sit here and say nothing. I'd never forgive myself; it wouldn't be right. Where the Hell did you get him from? Can you get a refund? Is, he, in fact, a real person, or some kind of CIA joke we're not getting? This is a man who has been described - with much justification, I might add - as "a narcissistic, bragging, mendacious, ignorant, dangerous demagogue". This is a man who loves everyone except blacks, browns, immigrants, Mexicans, Muslims, and women. The Huffington Post didn't hold back either (especially after he'd attacked the lady who runs it!), calling him "an attention-starved, thin-skinned narcissist", and remarking that his campaign was laden with insults, and built on "bombast, bullying, and false bravado". Then HP really got into it's stride, calling him "a mean-spirited, nasty, and divisive, polarizing, loose-cannon" going on to observe that he was also " a tone-deaf, self-serving entitled meglomaniac and pathological liar". It went on to say - unsurprisingly - that Trump was "fundamentally unqualified to be President", and then topped the whole thing off by saying that it felt the people of America would demand more than just "an angry, crass, impulsive, intolerant, intellectually-bankrupt peddler of negativity and doom". as their next President. I don't think they like him very much.
You've had good, even - some would say - great, Presidents in the past; Roosevelt, Eisenhower, JFK, etc., and some who were mediocre, like Johnson, Bush and co., and, admittedly, Nixon, but you can't be expected to get it right every time. However, there really can be no possible excuse for tolerating a bigot like Trump. Mrs Clinton (the person insultingly referred to by Trump as "Crooked Hillary") may not be the ideal choice, but she is at least capable of running you without offending most of your countrymen and the rest of the world. Do not allow DJT to consign the names of Trump and America to the same historical dustbin as Hitler and the Nazis, because I'm with Huffington; I don't think I like him very much, either.
Raise 'Old Glory', America, and raise it against a man who would destroy you politically, domestically, and internationally. A man who would drag the name of America so deep into the muck of racism, separatism, and blind indifference, that it will take you forever to drag yourself out.
America - dear, larger-than-life, colourful, loud, gung-ho, America - please, I beg of you, do not allow this braying racist to make you a figure of fun. We have a vested interest - he is as dangerous to everyone else as he is to you. You are much, much, better than Donald Trump, America, you deserve much, much, more than Donald Trump.
I hope and pray, from the bottom of my heart, that you get it.
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