Is There Anybody There?

I am intrigued - nay, astonished - at the amount of cheaply-made TV programmes that are hurled at us these days, from the so-called 'reality' shows that show a kind of reality you would not want at any price, to the unexplained, and - sadly in the majority of cases - the unwatchable.

UFOs, aliens, hauntings, prophecies, the apocalypse and strange beasts abound on our screens, but probably nowhere else.  It's pure entertainment - or it might have been the first time it was screened, but after twenty or so showings it's kind of lost it's punchiness.  It's ability to amaze - never strong at best - has evaporated quicker than one of Nick Clegg's promises.

I mean, where's the evidence?  Seriously,  it's a simple enough question that you may have thought the producers may have asked themselves, but of course, if they had considered evidence to be essential, there would have been no programme.  They always say they have new evidence, but what they really have is new hearsay, conjecture, wishful thinking or downright lies.  It's not the technical aspect of the ufo thing that I doubt - it's simply that any race technologically advanced enough to get here probably wouldn't want to.

I suspect that the truth is certainly out there somewhere, and that is where it's likely to remain.  I further suspect that certain people have been abducted by aliens - I mean, who could possibly doubt the testimony of someone like David Icke?  It is after listening to this self-proclaimed Son of God that one can readily understand just why the aliens sent him back.  How could they have explained him to their top brass on the good 'ole home planet?

Terry Pratchett teaches us the aliens are not always perfect, and there have been cock-ups ranging from them abducting each other (very embarrassing) to an unfortunate misunderstanding of instructions that resulted in forming cattle into circles and mutilating cabbages.

One 'top-ranking American intelligence officer' has even stated that much of our modern-day technology is derived from alien sources, and due to the vast numbers of crashed ufos, I have no doubt he's right, and it's possible that Microsoft is an alien joke we didn't get - like Peugeot or Virgin Media.

In an episode of 'The X-Files', someone asks an 'Intelligence Operative'  "Are they here?, referring to alien visitations.  The reply is "They have always been here".  I believe this to be true - they've certainly always been here.  There are some on an estate near you, you may be sure, worming their way insidiously into our society - bringing about the fall of mankind from the inside with advanced technology like hoodies, Staffordshire bull-terriers and super-strength lager.  Fuelled by benefits and class A drugs,  they hurtle silently through our universe in highly-advanced Vauxhall Novas, buggering-up all before them.  They are responsible for many of humanity's woes, including the Beckhams, Jonathan King, the EDL, and - worst of all by far - Simon Cowell.

Know them well, for they are among us, although ED - a member of The Flat Earth Society - says it's all bollocks.  Oh, yes, the truth is out there.

But a whole industry has sprung up out of the lies.